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Skip to 0 minutes and 7 secondsI've gained confidence from going to the carer centre. Before that I was never totally confident that what I was doing was correct, and by that time, my mum had been in a home quite a while. And you have some battles sometimes with the people like the establishments, homes, and so on. And I was never totally confident that I was doing the right thing, although my heart and mind told me I was doing the right thing. You still question yourself. But when you go somewhere like that and speaking to other people who were in similar situations, you realise, well, I am doing a good job. Everything is done for the best of intentions and for my mum's sake.

Skip to 1 minute and 4 secondsAnd well, yeah, I should be quite proud of myself as to what I'm doing. I insist that I'm there at any appointment that my mum has, whether that be with specialists or whatever. And when she first went into the home, the home wasn't always telling me. They were getting to know about it. I wasn't. So I started "right, so can I have that person's secretary's number" and all the rest of it, so I could say, "right, I also want to know. I want a letter to say when you're coming out to see my mum. And I want to know when she's got an appointment here, an appointment there."

Skip to 1 minute and 41 secondsI want to know when the chiropodist's coming because my mum would kick up a fuss about a chiropodist and so on. So I want to know when the chiropodist is coming in. And then if the chiropodist and the hairdresser that goes into the home isn't what you want for them, then you can also arrange it yourself, you know. But these are things that you find out over the time. I think I haven't been forthright in speaking, you know, and questioning the professionals. But I've found now, because I'm speaking on behalf of Jim, I've got to speak on his behalf. So I'm more forthright, and I'll say what's happening. I wasn't able to speak up and say.

Skip to 2 minutes and 24 secondsI would now though, because I've learned my lesson. When you went and spoke to people, like at the carer centre who work there, they're validating that you're doing a good job, and it gives you a little bit of confidence Yeah, well, I am doing something worthwhile, you know. It's having other people comment on how well Jim looks or how, you know, how he's coping. And how he's coping with the problems that he has makes you realise that maybe some of the things that you are doing are right. You always doubt yourself, but I think it's how Jim appears. That's what gives me the confidence to go on.

What gives you confidence?

In this video, our carers share the things that give them confidence when caring. For Denise, this was sharing her experiences with other carers at a carers’ centre.

What gives you confidence? Join the discussion to share your ideas and experiences.

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This video is from the free online course:

Dementia Care: Staying Connected and Living Well

Newcastle University

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