Turning intentions into actions

We previously discussed barriers that might get in the way of seeking feedback and how we might overcome them.

Starting and continuing with a new behaviour can be challenging. We may even put our plans in the ‘too hard basket’ and avoid acting on them altogether.

The first step to taking action is often the hardest. But once we get started and get into the habit, seeking feedback can become easier to do.

Two things need to happen to work towards a goal of seeking feedback:

1. Learning how to do the skill well
2. Getting into the habit of doing the behaviour

However, developing this habit can be challenging when the opportunities to seek feedback in your target setting may be infrequent. You might also be worried about how you go when asking someone like a supervisor for specific feedback.

So, what can we do about the challenge of seeking feedback?

One solution is to practise implementing your action plans or if-then plans in situations where the stakes might be lower. For example, if you hope to ask your supervisor for some specific feedback on your presentation skills, perhaps practise by asking a trusted family member or friend for some feedback first, and then rehearse your presentation in front of them.

Another solution is to look for situations in which you might seek feedback but appear unrelated to your current goal. Perhaps you are hoping to try a new recipe at home for dinner, or recently reorganised the furniture and want to know your housemate’s opinion. Rehearsing seeking feedback in situations like these may help you to refine your skills, and you might even receive information that can help you in other settings. After a bit of practice, you can then make the most of seeking (and receiving) the feedback you really want in the setting related to your goal.

In addition to practising, we can reflect on what we have done in the past, and what we think success looks like, to guide what we do moving forward. This can bring about new perspectives that may help us move from avoiding to doing and helps to remind us why we want to actively seek feedback.

Reflection

Consider the following:

• What might be different for you – for example, during your studies or in the workplace – if you were to seek feedback? What might be some benefits?
• Think of a time when you sought feedback on something you did or performed or made, and you sought feedback well. It might have been the time that resulted in the most helpful feedback that you were looking for. Ask yourself, what was it about the way that you sought feedback that was helpful? Was there anything else about this exchange of seeking and receiving feedback that you think worked well for you?
• Imagine a time in the future when you seek feedback well when you need to. How will you know you were successful? What benefits might occur as a result?
• Think about one of your goals and related barriers you want to overcome, and generate a list of examples of situations in which you could practice seeking feedback.

In this case, you don’t need to share any of your responses in the comments.

Optionally, have a go at seeking feedback from someone you trust about something in a situation that is of lower stakes than or unrelated to your current goal. Then, reflect on how you went. Did you get the kind of helpful feedback you were looking for? Why/Why not? What would you do differently next time?

References

Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2023). Motivational interviewing : Helping people change and grow (4th ed). The Guilford Press.