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Communication skills part 1

Now we return to Dave’s story.
Ah, brass monkeys, isn’t it? It’s freezing. Yeah, so, how did it go? Dialysis? Yeah. Rubbish as usual. You need start feeling a bit more positive about stuff, all right? How do I feel positive about that, Satnam? It’s exhausting. Do you know what I mean? You feel drained after you’ve had it. Yeah, I know. But maybe if you, like, were a bit more positive when you went in, you might be a bit more upbeat when you came out. Yeah, you don’t get it. It’s like three times a week I have to go do this. Yeah. But you must be used to it by now, surely. You don’t get used to it. It’s exhausting. Well, form a routine, all right?
Basically, you know you’ve got to do that three times a week, then, you know. And around that, you need to fit in some activities, like - tell you what? Come down to the gym with me. I don’t have the energy to do - look, it’s hard enough getting up to go to work, all right? Twice a week, right? Just a couple of hours, yeah? Twice a week. It would do you a world of good. It’s not happening. All right. Well, come out more often. You know, come for Jack’s stag do. I’m not doing that. It’s a prime opportunity, mate. Have a bit of fun, right? Go on a bit of a bender. It’s only three days. In Prague? Yeah.
I can’t go to Prague. I’m going to miss dialysis, aren’t I? I can’t keep missing that. I’ve got to miss a day of work. And Ruth will - you know, she’s giving me enough of a hard time about having to go to the hospital. Now, surely, right, three days of your life, just go away, just have a bit of fun, all right? No, I can’t even - Jack needs our support. - drink that much. You know what I mean? What’s the point? You guys are all going to be wasted, and I’ll be like - What do you mean you can’t drink so much? I mean, don’t lie. I know you drink loads, mate.
Sometimes you come into work the next day, you reek of it. So, you know, it smells like you’ve been on a bender the night before. Yeah, a couple of times, people at work have actually mentioned it. I mean, coming in a bit sweaty, you know, smelling like there’s alcohol coming out of your pores. It’s none of their business, do you know what I mean? They don’t know what I’m going through. Judy’s gone. I don’t see Maddie anymore. So, of course, sometimes I feel, you know, I have to have a bit of a drink, but I’m not supposed to. Yeah. But I know you do, man, and that’s the thing, right?
So, either say you do and admit it because you can’t keep lying to yourself, yeah? And especially people at work, you know, as I said, they’ve started noticing. You know, Ruth, the other day, when you came in, you should have seen the look on her face, you know? You really need to watch that, mate. So that’s what I’m saying, all right? Just come out more often, all right? Think about socialising a bit more. You know, come out and meet some people. I mean, there’s - I don’t want to meet people. I have nothing to say to them. You’ve got plenty to say to people, you know, you just need to - I’ve got to go. I’ve got things to do.
Where are you going to go? I’ve got to get home. No, just wait. We’ll go for a pint. No, I’m sorry, mate. I’ll see you later. Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. Dave! Give us a ring then, yeah?
Now we return to Dave’s story. We will watch Dave have three different conversations about his health and state of mind: firstly with a friend, secondly with his line manager at work and finally with Professor Matthew Hotopf as part of a psychiatric assessment.

In this video Dave meets his friend Satnam.

After watching the video, think about whether the interaction was positive or negative for Dave.

  • What aspects of the conversation were helpful or unhelpful?
  • If you were Dave’s friend, what would you have said or done differently?

Share your thoughts in the discussion space below.

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Integrating Care: Depression, Anxiety and Physical Illness

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