Reaching Out

Reaching out. I hope this series of videos have been really helpful. And by means of summary, I just wanted to remind you of the importance of reaching out or asking for help if that’s important for you. If we think back to the notion of self-compassion and the definition from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, it was treating yourself like you would a good friend. And I’m sure many of us have reached out and given help and support to our friends. Just like if you were to ask for that help, then you would absolutely receive it.

Another eminent psychologist– social scientist, in fact– Brené Brown talks often about courage and that in order for us to be brave, we also have to show our vulnerability, and that it is OK to reach out and ask for help, whether that’s at work or afterwards when you get home, either with family members or friends. Or indeed, there’s lots of online wonderful communities that you can reach out to and find that help that you need.

In my experience as a nurse and educator and coach, all of this work really resonates with me around the importance of being self-aware and being kind to ourselves, and that’s the key message really I’d like to finish with. Noticing, acknowledging your emotions without judgement, being present in the current moment, and recognise that, you know, this is really hard. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, though. Also some real positivity of an enhanced sense of community, of people working together for the common good, of people volunteering to help their neighbours, of random acts of kindness, and a real sense of being human and the humanity that we’re all sharing currently.

So I’d like to just finish with a little model, if you like, that I’ve heard being used in the last few weeks. I’ve kind of changed a little bit. I’ve amended to suit this and to suit my own values, and it may be helpful for you too.

So this is the self-care and well-being apple. And I’ll just talk you through this. You’ll find a copy of this too in the resources. But feel free to download and use, as you will also find a number of other really helpful resources. Graham and I are really conscious that there’s so much out there that it can feel overwhelming. We have put a few of our particular favourites of things that you might find useful. And please feel free to download or to use and share. So the A is what we’ve talked about over these sessions, it’s about acknowledging and accepting those emotions.

They’re often rollercoaster of either real gratitude, appreciation of perhaps your own health and what you can do to, at other times, feeling some sadness, fear, anxiety.

The sheer joy and power of being able to pause and breathe– no one needs to know that’s what you’re doing, although it’s OK to share that vulnerability. But even a minute of proper belly breathing or being able to pause for a moment or two can really help you then to move on and be in a stronger position as you go to do the next task or have a conversation. So don’t underestimate the power of a really good deep breath and that being able to just press the pause button.

The second P I have here is present– so being in the present moment, really being aware of what is within your control, and that you can choose your own weathers, Stephen Covey says, that you are in a position to respond in your own way and really focusing on the ‘here and now’ can be really helpful. The L is to let go, and that’s about being able to move on from– it may be irritation or frustration of trivial issues or of elements, perhaps of behaviour or conversations that you find yourself being drawn into.

And so it is OK, just a bit like the Frozen song, to let it go and focus on your response and what you can do in that moment. And, finally, the E is experience life. Use all your five senses to experience life at its best at the moment to really enjoy and savour what you can experience, and it can really help to refocus on what really matters in our lives.

So thanks again for taking part in this. Please do take care, keep healthy. Thank you.