What is Emotional Intelligence?
- how one assesses and communicates their emotions;
- how one can manage or regulate their emotions; and
- how one can effectively apply their emotions in the way they interact with others.
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- Self-awareness: Our ability to know ourselves, good and bad, and to be comfortable with that knowledge.
- Self-regulation: Our ability to control disruptive impulses and to think before acting.
- Internal motivation: Our ability to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
- Empathy: Our ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people.
- Social skills: Our ability to build and manage relationships and networks .
What do the authors, motivational speakers, business leaders, and entrepreneurs say about the two?Kare Anderson, an Emmy-winning former NBC and Wall Street Journal reporter and a guest on my program , took the question to an even deeper psychological realm:
“We need to keep reminding ourselves that what makes us feel anxious, fearful, slighted, or otherwise stressed can have a deeper and longer tug on our attention than what makes us feel happy. Remind yourself that when you find a reason to feel good, in the moment, you can become more observant and able to make smarter choices, learn more and deepen connection with those you are around.”
However, from whichever vantage point you view the subject, the numbers don’t lie.
“There are two different spectrums. There are leaders who are narcissistic and unfortunately will not keep their employees for very long. Then there are leaders who are tapping into that deeper emotional area. They are becoming very self-aware. To borrow a little bit of your work and your dissertation around emotional intelligence, they are becoming aware of their areas where they have failed because whatever you don’t deal with will eventually deal with you.”
“When we experience emotional wounds like rejection, failure, or loneliness, we’re not even aware that these are emotional wounds that need to be treated. Why it resonated with people is because everyone has emotions, and everyone was like, ‘Yes, I have those feelings.’ Maybe that’s correct that we do need to do something about them. Across cultures, languages, age, gender and races, EI is a characteristic that affects us all.”
“Google has dumbed us down because Google will just answer all those questions. Arguably today, Alexa can do the same thing just by asking many of those questions. We’re no longer curious about trivia questions; we just answer them. It’s no longer useful for the human mind to spend any time on it.”
“‘Can AI help us with X?’ is a curiosity question in Silicon Valley today. Often the answer is no. Everyone to your left and everyone to your right has about the same IQ plus or minus ten points. So, your IQ is not what’s going to determine if you can become a CEO. Chances are, everyone is as smart as the next person, so that’s not the determining factor. What differentiates them is EQ, which they’re not taught in school, in college, or at work.”
References1. Mayer J, Salovey P. Emotional Intelligence [Internet]. SAGE Journals. 1990 [cited 8 September 2020]. Available from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG2. Goleman D. Emotional intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. Bloomsbury; 1996.3. Kare Anderson | Speaker | TED [Internet]. Ted.com. [cited 9 September 2020]. Available from: https://www.ted.com/speakers/kare_anderson4. Simon T. Bailey – Speaker, Author, Life Coach and Entrepreneur. [cited 9 September 2020]. Available from: https://www.simontbailey.com5. Winch G. Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries. New York: Hudson Street Press, Penguin Group; 2013.6. Kevin J. Surace Keynote Speakers Bureau & Speaking Fee. BigSpeak Motivational Speakers Bureau: Keynote Speakers, Business Speakers and Celebrity Speakers. [cited 9 September 2020]. Available from: https://www.bigspeak.com/speakers/kevin-surace7. Mark Divine | Navy SEAL Speaker, Author, Founder of Unbeatable Mind. Mark Divine. [cited 9 September 2020]. Available from: https://markdivine.com
Innovative Leadership: Developing Curiosity
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