Episode Two

GERRY: Mum. Mum.

IRENE: Oh. Oh.

GERRY: Mum, I miss Dad, too, but if you’d wanted to visit, you should have just said. We could have come together.

Mum, this isn’t– this isn’t even Dad’s grave.

IRENE: It’s not?

GERRY: No.

ROSEMARY: You want a cuppa, sweetie?

HEATHER: No.

ROSEMARY: Biscuit?

HEATHER: No.

ROSEMARY: What is it, darling? I don’t have any coffee.

HEATHER: I got stupid care homes again.

ROSEMARY: Oh, really, did you?

HEATHER: Yes.

ROSEMARY: You need to know something, young lady.

HEATHER: Oh, here we go with the young lady. Go on, then, why don’t you tell me how much harder you had it when you were my age. Go on.

ROSEMARY: I rolled up my sleeves and got on with it. I didn’t magically become a specialist one day. I started at the bottom with all the other nurses, and I worked hard at it. And, yes, it was tiring, and yes, the bowel ward was literally shitty, but I just got on with it. I didn’t let it put me down, and I knew, I just knew I was making a difference to the patients.

HEATHER: Mum, but care home.

ROSEMARY: But nothing, they deserve the same health and care as anyone else.

CHARLOTTE: Awright, Nan? Have you gone anywhere nice for your holidays?

GERRY: It wasn’t even the right grave, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: What’s he on about now?

IRENE: You know how Gerald has these tantrums. He’s just a spoiled boy. Not like you, Elaine, you’re well behaved, aren’t ya?

CHARLOTTE: I’m Charlie, Nan.

IRENE: Well, put your jumper on then. Don’t just sit there and complain about it.

CHARLOTTE: Nan.

IRENE: Charlotte, I’m winding you up.

CHARLOTTE: Don’t do that. It does my head in. This whole thing does my head in.

IRENE: Where’s that fellow of yours?

CHARLOTTE: Dunno. Working. He’ll be here later. Do you like him?

IRENE: I do like him. Do you like him?

CHARLOTTE: I do like him, Nan. I do. He’s thoughtful. Like he’s always bringing me water or a blanket.

IRENE: He’s a keeper. He’d be good with horses too.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, he probably would be good with horses.

IRENE: What does he do then?

CHARLOTTE: He sells eggs.

IRENE: Lovely. Does he like that?

CHARLOTTE: I think so. He used to do the shredding. They’d go around offices and they’d bring out reports and papers, and then he’d put it in the back of the van and shred them in a big shedder.

IRENE: And he’s not doing that anymore?

CHARLOTTE: Nah. He got allergies from all the paper dust.

IRENE: Ah. He’s a nice boy. Are you going to marry him?

CHARLOTTE: Why are you asking that?

IRENE: I always say if you’re going to marry a man he should be able to look after you at the bank and between the sheets.

CHARLOTTE: Nan.

IRENE: Oh, well.

CHARLOTTE: Not much spare money.

GUY: All right?

IRENE: One out of two’s not bad.

ELAINE: I wish Dad had of met you. He would have liked you.

TIMOTHY: Oh, really?

ELAINE: No, he would have judged you. He would have thinked you severely lacking in some department or another, or held you up to some ridiculously high standard he had.

TIMOTHY: Hm. Oh.

ELAINE: Then he would have ignored you and pretended not to know you.

TIMOTHY: Great.

ELAINE: Yeah, he managed to forget David’s name the whole 22 years we were married. Yeah, the roofer, that’s what he called him. And he said it with such disdain. My god, the roofer.

TIMOTHY: What do you think he would’ve called me?

ELAINE: I don’t think he would have bothered thinking anything up for you. I mean, he wasn’t even a roofer. Well, he worked on roofs, but he had a building firm and he had people who worked for him.

TIMOTHY: Did he? Yeah.

ELAINE: Now I don’t want you to be offended, Tim, but–

TIMOTHY: Oh, here we go.

ELAINE: Don’t be so defensive already.

TIMOTHY: I’m not.

ELAINE: OK, it’s about work.

TIMOTHY: You want to talk about work? No. Here?

ELAINE: Well, when can we talk about it? When?

TIMOTHY: I don’t know.

ELAINE: It’s not about you. It’s about Mum. She’s left to her own devices, we don’t know what’s going to happen. You go to work every day, but we’re not seeing a benefit to it.

No, no, no. Don’t get cross. Don’t get angry. I just think it’s practical. It’s practical. I mean, until things pick up, you could stay at home and look after Mum. I can’t drop my hours because we wouldn’t get by.

TIMOTHY: It’s not just my work. Everything’s the same everywhere. It’s not just me.

ELAINE: But this is not about you. It’s about Mum. I can’t leave her on her own any longer. I dread to think of what could happen next.

TIMOTHY: The honeymoon.

ELAINE: What? What are you bringing that up for?

TIMOTHY: What happened on our honeymoon?

ELAINE: We didn’t have it, but we will.

TIMOTHY: That’s when you moved your mother in. We never had a honeymoon. We never will. And if you think that I’m staying home every day to look after her, I mean, she’s not even my mother.

ELAINE: Oh, Tim, I didn’t think it would be like that. I really didn’t. It was only going to be a short break. She wasn’t letting me into the house to look after her or do anything

TIMOTHY: I really think you’re undermining me. I won’t have it.

ELAINE: It’s really not like that, Tim.

TIMOTHY: This is not on me. I never signed up for this.

ELAINE: Oh, Dad, I wish you were still here.

JACOB: I’ve done one with the fossils already. Why should I have to do it again? Plus, I learnt it all in like five minutes.

HEATHER: What are you doing now?

JACOB: Intensive care, Heather. Proper nursing. Saving lives. It’s real and it’s intense. You see, the clue’s in the name, intensive.

HEATHER: I’m saving lives.

CHLOE: That’s not the same thing though, is it?

HEATHER: How not?

CHLOE: They go in there to die.

JACOB: And so what if they do? It’s a care home. Why would you bother saving them anyway?

HEATHER: It’s not like that.

LUCY: It Is. Heather, you’ll soon be as doolally as they are, and you’ll never get back into the NHS.

HEATHER: Thanks a lot for your input, Lucy. Just you wait.

JACOB: Look at me, Heather. Look at my face. I’m too young and far too handsome to work in a home.

HEATHER: You are.

JACOB: Thank you. Too kind. [MUFFLED YELLING]

TIMOTHY: She’s not stopping.

ELAINE: I thought she’d wear herself one. She’s done that recently. Run out of steam and gone back to sleep.

TIMOTHY: It doesn’t sound like she’s in her bed.

ELAINE: I’ll go down.

IRENE: You get out of here. You go! Get away from me. Leave me be.

ELAINE: Mum?

IRENE: You get our of here.

ELAINE: Mum?

IRENE: You go. I don’t want you in here. I’ll call my father and he’ll hit you.

ELAINE: Mum, there’s no one– there’s no one else here. It’s OK. There’s no one else here. Sh. Sh. It’s OK, Mum. It’s just a bad dream, Mum. Mum. Mum.

IRENE: Oh, Daddy, help me.

ELAINE: Sh. Sh. Sh.

You could have told me you weren’t working today, Charlotte. You could have looked after Mum for me.

CHARLOTTE: I didn’t know, did I? I never get the shifts or they cancel at the last minute.

ELAINE: Are they allowed to do that?

CHARLOTTE: Nan, do you want a sandwich?

ELAINE: Charlotte, leave your Nan. She’s settled. She’s fine.

CHARLOTTE: You don’t need to be so narky with me.

ELAINE: I’m not getting narky, Charlotte. Please.

CHARLOTTE: Nan, What are you doing this afternoon? We could go for a walk.

ELAINE: Don’t mention walks to her Nan, she’ll start looking for a pair of shoes she had 30 years ago. Leave it alone. She’s fine.

CHARLOTTE: So what then? We’re just going to leave here there all afternoon?

ELAINE: No.

CHARLOTTE: Yes. And we all have to be quiet until she goes to bed.

ELAINE: Stop it, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: No, I don’t want to be quiet. When’s the last time you went out, Mum?

ELAINE: I go out.

CHARLOTTE: When? Did you take her?

ELAINE: I was out for two hours last night at the supermarket. I waited till she was asleep.

CHARLOTTE: Is that it? Two hours in Asda? Can’t you see what’s happening here?

ELAINE: Charlotte, I’ve been up half the night with her already. I’m cross-eyed with tiredness. Please, I don’t want to talk about this now.

CHARLOTTE: So when are we supposed to talk about it?

ELAINE: We’re not. I’m not talking about it.

CHARLOTTE: When then?

ELAINE: Not now.

CHARLOTTE: I’m not leaving it. She’s my Nan.

ELAINE: And she’s my mum. You think you have all the answers, Charlotte. Well, do you have an answer to this problem? Come on, let’s hear it. I’m all ears.

CHARLOTTE: I don’t know.

ELAINE: I knew it.

CHARLOTTE: I mean, I do know. [NAN SINGING]

CHARLOTTE: Just give you a minute to think.

ELAINE: Look, look what you’ve done.

CHARLOTTE: I haven’t done anything.

ELAINE: You’ve unsettled her.

CHARLOTTE: I haven’t. Have I, Nan? See, nothing?

ELAINE: Why can’t you accept that I’m in control? Everything’s fine.

CHARLOTTE: I haven’t done anything.

ELAINE: This is your last warning, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: I haven’t done anything, and why are you taking to me like I’m 8?

ELAINE: Top shouting.

CHARLOTTE: I’m not shouting.

ELAINE: Yes, you are.

CHARLOTTE: I’m not.

GUY: Whoa, whoa. What is happening? Was is this? I could here it all the way down the street.

CHARLOTTE: It’s her fault.

GUY: All, right, guys, come on, let’s calm down. Have you all forgotten what’s been happening? Irene, she’s been out the door five times. She’s fallen four. It’s not getting any better. She’s upset Distressed. Look. It’s too risky. We can’t wait until something really bad happens, because then it’s going to be too late. How long is this going to go on? It’s OK, Nan. You don’t need to worry.

IRENE: I want to go somewhere safe.

ELAINE: You’re safe here, Mum. You’re safe.

IRENE: I’m not safe. I’m scared. I’m so scared.

I’m scared.

ELAINE: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.