Gardiol Van de Venter
Working as a psychological counsellor - always in awe of everything :)
Location Betty's Bay, Western Cape, South Africa
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
My home in Gauteng looks the same, so do many of our hospitals - keeping children safe is a huge responsibility espescially when you "take them away" from their parents / primary care givers ...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
My home in Gauteng looks the same... keeping children safe is a huge responsibility, many general hospitals have those bars and security as well...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Very inspiring!
Why are the children not wearing masks as well, I think I'm seeing the mask as a barier? -
Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
A key, a bridge, a veil lifted - thank you for access to the space between functional pump and seat of the being.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I want to go and touch it when I visit the Mother City again.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
A checlist...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I feel so extremely priviledged to hear and see Dr Brinks knowledge and enthusiasm ... what an inspiration!
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I rationalize everything that I do... trying always to find the other, perhaps more positive side, of activities or happenings e.g. doing the chores to me sometimes means being able to stand, move, wash, have dishes to wash in the first place, had a meal to eat... Am I necessarily being mindful? Or is that an outlook on life? It feels that Im aware of the...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Does one have a default breathing rythm as well - meaning I noticed my breathing is relaxed and easy but shallow and it is healthy to breathe in deeper but once I start breathing deeper it feels forced?
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I feel the same, and the "what if vs what is" comment opened my eyes to some of the reasons why I always have plans a - z, rather than only at least a plan B :)
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I had an insight - thank you! I'm sure my inability to remember names, is because I do not focus on what the person is saying, or what I am saying, I tend to think what type of impression am I making on the other person, what does the other person look like, what is he / she wearing, doing, etc - at the end, I remember many things but not the name... is it not...
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I wonder if my default state of wanting things to be quiet around me while I focus (versus my children who claim they cannot study / function / be happy without earphones or music playing) is because of my childhood - we were taught to focus on one issue or aspect, in other words, we sat down for dinner, after which we listened to the radio, after that, we...
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Hi Ralf, yes, am addicted to books like people are to FB or games :) I hope it is the natural curiosity that started with early hominids, and not just me avoiding tasks that I do not really enjoy, like cooking :))
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Life is multi-asking, and I try to ignore it :) I do find, however, that I would have "many files open", if the type of activity allows for postponement - as if I get bored with one activity, quickly go to another, do a bit there, back to the first one, etc - like reading more than one book at a time, of course it can only be one at a time, but many on the...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I liked the feeling I got from Craig "being in charge" and me letting go, just to breathe, trying not to think of something to say or answer or reason (side-stepping the frontal lobes a bit :)
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Hello, I live in Bryanston, Johannesburg, RSA, work as a registered psychological counsellor; I have done FL courses in the past and look forward to the mindfulness course.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I am looking forward to participate - I am a psychological counsellor (trauma), working in Johannesburg. South Africa is such a vibrant and diverse country that it is always an insight to learn from others and to know what the law actually directs.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the course thank you! The videos, the reading - everything, but it seems that I am more convinced that disorders are biological of origin ... perhaps enhanced by our interaction in society - the games people play... I wish a could articulate better, but know this, Prof Kinderman, you inspired me t5tro think and explore! :)
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It feels to me that I am lucky to have the ability to celebrate life... I would want people to have access to medication and therapy in order to assist them or teach them to enjoy life - some people really have a horrible life... and others do not know how to celebrate their privileges... Maslow's hierarchy comes to mind with regards to, for instance, the Save...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Very practical and useable thank you!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I downloaded the app thank you - already see the benefit of changing my thoughts, realize it does not take the anxiety away but changes the way I look at it :) It made me aware of my tendency to over-rationalize to solve any problem I experience in my mind ...
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.agreed! ..and it should matter to me, the thinker, more than to others ... except if our thinking harm others?
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
2016 Oxford word of the year is post-truth... we know that the public (me and us :)) wants easy accessible reading of news and info - we also know that we cannot trust all journalists... but reputable organizations like BBC and Nat Geo are still trustworthy (when I was young I used to prefer to read Reader's Digest condensed stories rather that the entire...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I like the quote " ...ask what happenend to me" ... we can then "see" in the behaviour how the individual is dealing with what hapenned, and that takes it back to nature again :)
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
After the quiz, I realize there are a few key words still confusing me, I should focus on getting the correct definitions :)
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Hmmm now I'm slightly confused... the difference in behavior is the learnt difference of the 2 fathers? It is certainly "abnormal" to smile if an abusive father enters the room? Same biological brain making a correct reaction / assumption in terms of survival... Learnt behavior is still from a biological start-off point? If I'm with my friend and "bad-dad"...
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I am currently also reading "Ek is my Brein" by Dick Swaab (translated into Afrikaans - whoop!) Not sure the English title but directly translated = I am my Brain... in any case - so very interesting to see the impact of manipulation of hormones and transmitters on rats... even the impact of menopause on myself! ... :O
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
To change the structure is of course possible, but it takes effort and exercise - like practice makes perfect, also, motivation, habit etc. I like the idea that the responsibility sits within us - the ability though, differ from person to person, and there are thus 7 billion different structures out there... how wonderfully amazing! I sometimes wish I was...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
30 - 33
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Primum non nocere ... if voices or beliefs or thoughts are not hurting yourself or others, not impacting negatively on your quality of life? I support her statement, do not ask what is wrong with me, ask what is happening to me... this is all very interesting mind-opening!
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I prefer a book over kindle, but sometimes to order from overseas is quite a challenge, I will explore our local agencies to see if I can find a copy, would love to rather have it in hard copy - of skool...
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Gardiol Van de Venter replied to Tina Y
I hear what you are saying, but on the other hand, we might look at the 'unwellness' of the mind more , uhm what is the word, structurally if it can be compared to an illness... people understand it if one would not feel well because of the 'flu, but they do not understand if you feel unwell due to sadness? It is semantics, I know :) I often have to explain...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
In my mind cause = impact, and then the amazement of resilience - why do some people bounce back and others not; one can ask the same question about something like lung cancer, some people die with-in weeks of diagnosis, others live for any more years. Aah, genes!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Thank you for the comment: Bad things happen to you and they drive you crazy..." - I find that in trauma counselling very helpful, as clients often say, why do I feel like I'm losing my mind, I'm going crazy!
Also, I tend to think it is more nature than nurture, so I look forward to learn from the experts and explore new and latest thinking, thank you - very... -
Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Available on Kindle as well, thank you.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Lekker :))
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Hello All, I'm an Afrikaans speaking South African, working as a trauma counsellor in Johannesburg, so bear with me when I don't express myself too well, especially when I'm excited ... I can just as well share the Afrikaans word "lekker" with you - meaning uhm, good, great, awesome, tasty, stunning :))
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Celebrities are celebrities because of the fans - it is therefor a giving back activity to support social enterprise and I think celebrities can give more funding, after all, some film stars, soccer stars etc are extremely rich because of the public support? (I'm not dismissing their hard work and talent!) In SA most of our celebrities really support social...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Students can act as interns and advisers during their studies and get experience before they go out into the work force.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Currently I do not have the will to get involved in government sponsored projects - hopefully an attitude that will change positively over time :(
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Good insight! Like erecting a tent, with only one pole in the middle, not good - one should have many anchors and empowered individuals in the whole enterprise.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
The lady at the end of the video seems to have the answer... money, to do what you enjoy doing... I think, to me personally, I am not an entrepreneur, I am more involved in the social upliftment effort and sponsorships or getting money to actually "do good", is a huge challenge - I should change my mindset as well, but should also source companies that will...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Changemakers inspring me includes organisations planting trees in our townships, erecting solar-driven paly ground equipment, the hippo-carrier for water to assist rural women to spend less time carying water to their households, and early-learning efforts by many NGO's.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
In awe and inspired :)
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Yes I agree, in SA we have stokvels (co-operatives) and we have loan sharks ... mIcro finance?
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I am aware of Ashoka; got a leaflet many-many years ago, joined them via e-mail but never more than that - perhaps this course will give me the confidence and knowledge to compile a proper proposal of my job-creation and social upiftment idea... :)
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I think of social enterprise as working with the community, for the community, but in the same time also paying salaries and maintaining work-life-balance. I think we often confuse volunteer work with upliftment / social repsonsibility - we still need someone to pay the bills, many volunteers can do volunteer work because they have an income, or security, or...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I thoroughy enjoyed it, thank you - what I struggle with, is my attitude of "going out there to search for the right problem in order to give it my solution..." It sounds quite paternalistic... ! Hmmm - reflection time for me, luckily it is the week end!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Wow, the reality of "there is only Panet A, no Planet B" - thank you! I am one of those people who always have a plan B... this course is changing my attitude into a more flexible approach towards Plan A, to let go of plan B and rather focus all efforts on Plan A... :)
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Finding a solution implies that there must be a well identified problem first? If we want or need something to change, is it not working better and changing faster that when we think something should change - like with evolution, it only changes if there is a problem or a better and easier way of doing something - I'm just thinking here the differences in...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Wow, I love the passion of the Million Kitchen, saying, we will use the boundary and work within it, we will not wait for things to change, basically, we will work with what we have - I have been my own worst enemy it seems, focusing on what I can not do... sort of waiting for conditions to become ideal...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Acceptance of people, food security, education and training.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I am so excited by this course and look forward to learning how to network and how to design an enterprise where I can fit in comfortably, knowing that we are benefiting the immediate area and society I live in. I am not yet ready to change the world, but keen to learn how to positively impact on the future of many people living in desperate conditions in my...
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Thank you, much appreciated.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Once again I am in awe by the generosity of everyone involved to make it possible for me to sit at home and learn from the best in the world - an absolute privilege!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Thank you for the information, the invite :) are these courses online as well?
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Thank you sincerely for this excellent course, the manner and respectful way it was presented!
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Yes, I agree, regulated like it is currently in the UK; the bottomline currently, I think :) is that it is research in order to prevent preventable disorders...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I fully agree with Prof Emily thank you.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
On the shoulders of giants ... little me says yes, please go forward!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Me being naive again :) Prof says what if we can't go back... Well, we can't... Was anyone going to tell Vasco da Gama or Marco Polo to go back - I am a Caucasian in Africa because Jan van Riebeeck moved forward and planted veggies in the Cape ... I actually like the idea of doing it and then dealing with it, because sometimes that is how we learn and also...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I think genome editing is a positive, awe inspiring issue and wonder if it may become something like NASA because of cost and ability, let all scientists and interested parties pool effort and budget and regulation in one pro-development project :) my statement sounds naive it is also because I'm translating, what I'm saying is go for it but not all countries...
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I'm not sure if I understand this statement Caroline?
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I will have to read up a bit about the status if this issue in SA - we have a very liberal and freed constitution since 1994, so I think we would welcome the type of regulation as in UK but to actually implement may be not such a big issue as we have other pressing social problems -I think our scientist work well in collaboration with the latest technology but...
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I prefer an aborted embryo to an unwanted child; I agree with Dennis, the example of vaccination is relevant, polio back again for instance because some parents do not want vaccines ... They should live more isolated then as well, but the debate is about designer babies ... Why not choose / select if you can?
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Yes, and reach a stage where it is accessible to more and more people as well.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I like the idea of 3parent... It can be 5, it makes no difference to the absolute wonder of this technology - I am quite touched by it all.
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Playing God ... I don't even want to go there - we play God when we decide to transplant a heart ... 60 years ago you just died ...
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My grandmother used to say "you can't keep away the dawn" :)
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Very true, Margaret, thank you - I do agree, and we have no idea how other people (or ourselves) will react when things ar every different from what we so carefully planned, we do not like change) and I tend (in this course) to theorize a lot, as I have no personal experience; and many mothers abandon healthy babies as well!
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Gardiol Van de Venter replied to [Learner left FutureLearn]
Thank you Dorothy!
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Rebecca, I also only had access to ultra sound and just to see that there was for instance 4 heart chambers and no risk if spina bifida, made me relax and enjoy my pregnancy - I think we realize we live in an age of freedom of knowledge and knowledge is power - I also agree that most mothers want healthy babies and very few who does have a disordered /disabled...
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Gardiol Van de Venter replied to [Learner left FutureLearn]
Luckily good looking differs from culture to culture :)) and falling in love shows us also that I may find my husband most handsome and others may think what on earth... I think evolution has sorted many of these issues already, I now think something totally cultural related - where men have more that one wife and they marry the younger ones for sex and...
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And like we saw earlier in this course, for every rule there is someone breaking it, for their own (good) reasons ...
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Yes, the individual that will at the end take care of the child...
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I know two couples who have children with Down syndrome and they in fact react positively, as if they understand that many people ask questions out of ignorance or curiousity or just bad manners ... It does not affect their love for their children, a well known couple, or let me rather brag and say the well know child with Down syndrome, use questions like...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Oh wow - I never new anything about cell free DNA ... In the mother's blood stream - a child is truly a privilege and truly part of a mother's being!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
How wonderful is technology to afford parents to avoid those dreaded diseases and that the children / family can be rid of the stress associated with the disease ... Many years ago I met n man who suffered from cystic fibrosis and he could not maintain a normal relationship, he suffered breathing problems, could not even dream of having a family and died soon...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
The set of books analogy helped this old brain a lot :))
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Gardiol Van de Venter replied to Linda Moeller
Abortion is a choice within the laws of the country and your specific religious outlook.
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Yes I think it is unethical not to intervene to avoid challenges that we know of.
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So I realize I am in full agreement with you Rebecca :)
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The new mother, the egg donor, not the surrogate?
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Yes, and I believe that is why they do it (both sides) and that is why I can only hope that it is most of the time fair, successful with a happy ending. My 'hardplace" is not fertility, I have other challenges, and surrogates may wonder how I make those decisions; who was the Saint that said, there, but for the grace of God? ...
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I agree, are we both saying there should not be such a thing as a surrogate because how can one give a baby away... but this course / this debate is about the fact that it is happening, and I can only speculate, debate, wonder, as I am not emotionally involved; it even feels to me that I can debate because, to me personally, it is theory only... I would not...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Can sex selection end up like China's one child policy -unnatural population profile?
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Yes, that is why I feel lucky that to me this is 'just very interesting' and not the actual emotional pain and involvement, like I'm an observer only...
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I know I'm being judgmental now but are those parents for real? What if it was her own pregnancy!! If my child is born with a handicap who do I give it to? Oh I am so saddened by this reality!
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I think it's ethical it is a need from both sides that is fulfilled -it's when we become fraudulent that it is unethical? I'm back to square one where I wished it was not necessary to use surrogates... What about all the babies in the world especially in the 3rd world countries...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Ah this is what I meant in my previous comments, just didn't know it's called epigenetics :) Very interesting thank you and I think the surrogate should not hand the baby over, the midwife must take the baby immediately and the surrogate should be informed that all is well ( not lying, meaning she should be comforted that she fulfilled her contract) and mother...
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Yes and the surrogate must be taught how and where in her life and attitude will she get that emotional balance back - rationalize? The money will make up for part of it, the fact that she gives joy to some one should also help a bit?
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I agree but would want mother and child to be together from day one...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I wanted to add that it may be better for both women to be together during the pregnancy? It looked as if the surrogates a very far removed from the mothers, I somehow thought they spend time together and the baby can hear the new mothers voice and laughter...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
When I was pregnant I was very aware of many things that will and may impact on my unborn child:my diet my mood my anxiety levels my fitness the music I listened to and ... the fact that I drank only Rooibos tea for nine months... Fear and sadness and trauma and happiness impacts on the baby?
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I am very touched by this video ... How privileged am I! I do think that the surrogate mothers are "lucky" to surrogate, there are many ways that people sell their bodies, skills, and the mother who is receiving the baby, has many other privileges except fertility... A type of issue that I can only comment on I can not even begin to think what it must be like...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
If I need to choose I think I will rather use a surrogate than be a surrogate ... And I would not want the surrogate involved in my child she is just a vehicle... And that is why she should be paid in cash not in kind, like visiting rights.
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
Like with every rule there is a back side - exploitation will happen, that is why there are governing bodies, like with anti animal cruelty; there should not even be laws to protect because we should not be cruel to animals, but people do crazy things in any case ...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
As I see everything as a transaction, I think surrogacy will be the same ... I look forward to this week's learning!
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I think I would have liked to know I'm donor conceived but I'm not sure if I would have wanted to know the donor... What if it ends up to be Bill Gates and I want to share in his fortune :) I actually do mean it more seriously, what if you meet your donor and hates him? Or prefer him to your own father...
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Gardiol Van de Venter made a comment
I can not remember the exact stats but there are some percentage of out-of-marriage children without the father (or the child then) knows about it ... The same then as not telling your child he /she was "donated" - I think (I actually wonder if) the decision to disclose will develop with the child and the type of relationship... We often make decisions...
