Emma Soutar
I am the lead trainer with the centre for child protection at the University of Kent.
I am co--facilitating the course 'Effective communication with vulnerable children.' with Vanisha Jassal
Location Kent, UK
Activity
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Emma Soutar replied to Emma Soutar
@NyemingorKorkorOkai I think it is important that we have support networks, whether these are professional or social, as raising children in isolation could be challenging.
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@LukeP is it so bad for a baby to associate crying with attention?
Thanks for drawing attention to the notion of the natural mother, it can be such a challenging time without the guilt of not matching up to societies expectations. -
@DebraMillward that's really interesting, i'd never thought about these techniques for older people. I am glad you were able to set up a 'soft' entry.
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@ClaraKay tough for you but great for your children.
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@DebraMillward when my children were at nursey i had regular meetings with their keyworker were we discussed developmental benchmarks alongside general wellbeing in the environment.
Pre school/ nursery staff can also play a big role in supporting vulnerable children, especially as diagnosis for many conditions often comes as the child develops more.
There... -
@DebraMillward i am not a fan of this approach either. I think it really demonstrates the changing landscape of child care. At one time it was very popular.
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Emma Soutar replied to Debra Millward
@DebraMillward a good reminder thank you.
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@LeighBrown thanks for sharing. I didn't know of Badgers parting gifts, even though i see it is 35 years old.
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@LeighBrown thank you for sharing your experiences. I particularly like your point about children reacting in different ways.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Thank you for your comments. It is interesting that a cartoon can provoke an empathetic response. I feel it no matter how often i watch it.
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@LeighBrown Professor Harry Ferguson talks about social work in the car. You can read snippets here if you are interested. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/249021824_Driven_to_Care_The_Car_Automobility_and_Social_Work
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@LeighBrown i know what you mean. I often play this at the end of heavy training sessions, so i can reset the mood before everyone leaves.
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Emma Soutar replied to Debra Millward
@LouisMwanza those threats can also come from a non family member if a child is being groomed.
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@LakminiDeepikaAmarasinha , bravo, very well put.
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@MonicaZilianti you are right, effective multiagency working is so important.
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@ZiinudiinAB I like your thinking, although, while we may want to support mum to calm down, we have to be careful about how we do this. As i am sure you know being told to calm down in the wrong way can have the opposite effect.
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Emma Soutar replied to Adewumi Unuigbe
@AdewumiUnuigbe sounds like important work, I am sure you will find some ideas that will help you with communication for different ages.
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Emma Soutar replied to Saqib Iqbal Raja
Welcome @SaqibIqbalRaja , we have included lots of extra links to reading and websites with lots of information. Taking some time to explore these in addition would be helpful to your journey.
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Children can still have a safe person at home and still be tricked online, into something potentially dangerous like grooming. I think we need to accept that most older children today have an online life, we as adults needs to equip them to navigate as safely as possible. Also we need to check in with them about what is happening in this space, just like we...
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Emma Soutar made a comment
I always think about meeting the child where they are at. With no expectation and a curiosity.
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You are right trying to see their perspective is so important.
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@LeighBrown That's interesting. Where you able to rake any action to address these concerns?
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Interesting that no one has commented on this, super nanny is usually controversial.
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@LeighBrown great to hear you are getting effective supervision
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@DebraMillward Dad can meet many needs too!
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Emma Soutar replied to jane o'callaghan
@janeo'callaghan all red flags and prompts to action.
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Emma Soutar replied to Leigh Brown
@LeighBrown thanks for talking about professional curiosity, so important.
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Certainly not all though. Just because parents are together, it is important to consider that not all partnerships are naturally supportive, sadly this is not always the case.
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@LeighBrown I real like this video on brain development https://youtu.be/hMyDFYSkZSU?si=8XHmBouJot5c02PW
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Emma Soutar replied to Clara Kay
@ClaraKay I am not sure it is possible to be 100% present. Caregivers must make sure they are looking after themselves, in order to be able to be present.
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Emma Soutar replied to jane o'callaghan
@janeo'callaghan you are right babies need us to be present. However it is also important to recognise that it is really tough to raise babies and occasionally a bit of TV maybe a lifeline to provide a bit of rest bite or give you a chance to complete essential tasks. I think the general rule of thumb is to know you are doing your best and this doesn't have to...
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Emma Soutar replied to Debra Millward
@DebraMillward it is good that she felt able to share with you. Maybe that's all she needed.
Fortunately we are living in a different age where society is more able to have the conversation about abuse that has been experienced. Perhaps you could return to this conversation with some sources of counselling. Or perhaps some recommended reading, does anyone... -
@LeighBrown you are right that trauma can be deeply complex. We are only really beginning to understand the impact as the field of trauma informed approaches grows.
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@ClaraKay it's interesting you talk about a feeling powerlessness. There is much power in approaching from a position of kindness.
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@DebraMillward i like your point about things working sometimes but not others, as we know babies are individuals with complex needs, that's why we need lots of tools in our box.
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@KRYSTALGARY the idea of spoiling the child is controversial one. I would argue that by responding to the child when they cry you are meeting their needs and providing the framework for secure attachment.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Great to see so many different backgrounds, all with the same aim of communicating with children.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Well done to everyone for getting to the end of week one. I look forward to our focus on the preschool child next week.
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@AlishaKhan yes the baby is completely dependent on the caregiver and needs to be seen as the mini complex human they are!
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Emma Soutar replied to Alisha Khan
@AlishaKhan well put, paying attention to baby is key.
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@MuktaSinghBhandari it is important to recognise the challenges, as parents need to look after themselves in order to provide best care for baby.
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@janeo'callaghan walking so often helps, it reminds me of when my children were babies and things were always better once we had been out for walk.
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@IanFord that's interesting to have the health perspective. Having this knowledge could really help with how mum is supported.
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@MuktaSinghBhandari you are right empowering mum is key.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
I think it is so important that anyone who is communicating and supporting children, whether professionally or personally, has space to voice their feelings. Do you agree?
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I encourage you all to get involved and comment. When we have run this course before the learning community has been really insightful and supportive.
Vanisha and myself also really value hearing from you. -
Emma Soutar made a comment
Welcome everyone. I am looking forward to the next few weeks with you all.
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Emma Soutar replied to Aakanksha Jain
@AakankshaJain the assignment is clearly laid out in the next step 4.18
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@GeorgiaKwiecien a lovely answer.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien on the flip side it is great that there is a well-being hub with mental health support for the children.
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@ArteA the first one is lovely example thank you for sharing.
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@ArteA did you get more words in the third term?
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@ArteA i agree that we never stop learning. it is great you have been able to develop your professional steadfastness.
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Emma Soutar replied to V L
@VL you are right respect is so important. The young person will be know if it is there.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Thank you to everyone who has got involved this week, some really interesting conversations.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien i agree that it is so important to monitor a child online life in the beginning so you can support them to navigate this complex world.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien I love that you have placed Rosie and Trevor at the heart of your response.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien please see my answer to Arte below.
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Emma Soutar replied to Arte A
@ArteA we have learnt a lot about how adverse child hood experiences can affect children. I don't think it is necessary to have verbatim text, and i am not sure how ethical this would be. What the simulations do is create opportunities for critical thinking about child centred practice. They also provide a chance to practice our responses in a safe virtual...
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Emma Soutar replied to dionne groves
Thanks Dionne. That means we have probably met!
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@EvelynBrown grief is so complicated, it sounds like this girl had the best support in the circumstances.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien sounds like you gain a good understanding of grief from your school friend.
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@EvelynBrown you are right to talk about the fact you may need to tell someone depending on the nature of the disclosure.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien you are right so many possible reasons. I like your approach.
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@ArteA i agree i think there are more compassionate ways to set boundaries.
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@EvelynBrown I too agree that boundaries are very important. However i struggle with the way super nanny sets them.
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I used to use the four step apology with my children.
1) I am sorry for
2) It was wrong because
3) in the future i will
4) Do you accept my apology ?
There were a bit older than the boy in the film when i started this. -
@GeorgiaKwiecien a lovely demonstration of communication with the child.
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@ArteA It is good to acknowledge when you feel annoyed, as you have highlighted this can lead to change of state. As you say bring in the in the skill of patience.
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Emma Soutar replied to Kay Brown
@KayBrown , wow a busy woman. Welcome. I spent many years working with a domestic abuse charity. It is good that in the UK witnessing domestic abuse is being more widely recognised as an adverse childhood experience (ACE's) therefore more is being understood about the impact and the importance of intervention to create positive change for the lifecourse.
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Emma Soutar replied to Amanda Murray
@AmandaMurray week 4 will have resources for you.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Often the super nanny clip provokes many different reactions. What do you think about it?
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Emma Soutar replied to Oaliathe D
@OaliatheD welcome. Good luck on your journey to being an English teacher.
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@JoanaTeantiRabaua welcome. This is now my fifth time running this course and i pick up new ways and perspectives on communicating with my children every time.
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Emma Soutar replied to V L
@VL always!
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Emma Soutar replied to Taiwo Salami
Hi @TaiwoSalami great to have along. Will be interesting to hear from your health perspective
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@KofiAkowuah Welcome. I am sure you have lots of insight to share from your 13 years.
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@MaryHaney thanks for sharing this. Interesting about the choice to go to war. As practitioners we may find ourselves in settings where we have to set boundaries but i think you are right this can be done in a non confrontational way.
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@dionnegroves sitting alongside him is a lovely idea.
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@EvelynBrown Open questions so helpful in a situation like this.
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@SaraT you are right that it is so important that we stay calm as adults in this situation. I like the fact that you are trying to see things from his perspective.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
I've enjoyed the first week of the course. Thank you to al of you who have contributed to the discussions so far. I look forward to week 2.
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Emma Soutar replied to Eva Nisbet
@AmieThompson a great reason to be here on the course. Week 4 will really help with this.
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Emma Soutar replied to Kay V
@KayV I think you are right to advise caution with lots of different opinions. Look out for the links we have provided throughout the course. As there are some great organisations out there.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien a nice reflection here. I like the fact you consider different options, as not everyone many have a supportive partner or parents.
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Emma Soutar made a comment
Welcome everyone. I look forward to being with you over the next 4 weeks. Do get involved in the discussions if you can. It a great opportunity to come together as a global learning community and share our thoughts and ideas on communicating with children.
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@GeorgiaKwiecien sadly you are right
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@GeorgiaKwiecien really well put. What you are describing is 'mentalisation' . You are right this is key nurturing.
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Emma Soutar replied to Georgia Kwiecien
Children this small do need have an adult around all the time. Yes they don't need to be physically next to them but there does need to be someone who can hear the child and respond.
Of course children can have a range of adult carers, "taking a village to raise child" -
Emma Soutar replied to Tewa Therese kamano
@TewaTheresekamano It is great you are getting involved in the course. It is best if comment are made in English as this is the language of the course and then everyone can understand and respond.
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@JavieraSalas you are right that we should recognise our own emotional responses. However it is really important to support Mum to find a way to sooth the child, as this will lead to the best outcomes.
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Emma Soutar replied to dionne groves
Welcome @dionnegroves
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@emma-janehargrave I'm looking forward to the next 4 weeks with you all.
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@dionnegroves a lovely reflection here. You are right that your focus should be on supporting Mum to calm the baby.
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Emma Soutar replied to Trish Edwards
@TrishEdwards welcome to the course. There will be lots of relevant information, especially in week 3.
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Emma Soutar replied to Tino Ajang
Great to have you on the course Tino., there is lots of relevant information on young people and mental health, particularly in weeks 3 and 4.
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Emma Soutar replied to Eva Nisbet
HI @EvaNisbet brilliant to have you on the course. There is definitely lots of relevant information for you, especially in week 1 and week 2.
Just to make sure you are aware everyone has access to all of the course for free but you only get a certificate if you upgrade. -
Emma Soutar made a comment
I have so enjoyed this journey with you all. Thank you to all of you who have got involved. The open free course is available for a couple more weeks if you wish to review.
If you want permanent access and a certificate, this is available through the future learn upgrade.
Please feel free to get in touch the centre for child protection if you would like to... -
Emma Soutar replied to Rory Swift
Thank you @RorySwift the open free course is available for another couple of weeks for you to follow up.
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@MohammedAhmedAbdullahManeaAlhaddad thanks for participating on the course. It such a shame i couldn't respond to your comments as they weren't in English.
