Active Listening

An active listening approach and conveying empathy can help calm the child or young person, it can help them feel understood and allow them to express their emotions honestly so that you can find out their needs and assist them appropriately.

In the British Red Cross video they discuss empathy, which is an important part of active listening. Once you have watched the video, consider how this can be applied when talking to those you support.

When talking to a child or young person, the following may be helpful:

• Seek information about the situation so you know how to help. Reassure them that that they do not need to re-tell their story in detail unless they say they want to. Pay attention to tone of voice, body language, and establishing good eye contact

• Listen carefully to what people say and clarify your understanding by repeating back or summarising what you hear they are trying to communicate.

• Demonstrate you are listening using nods, murmurs or encouragers such as ‘oh?’ or ‘OK’ or ‘I understand’ – respond without judging

• Be sensitive and focused, good communication with a distressed child does not require probing into their experience. Accept and support emotions

• Use language that is simple, direct and easy to understand, speak slowly and calmly; try not to use euphemisms; offer hope, have patience, and leave gaps for them to start speaking

• Exercise patience if people are confused or find it difficult to explain. Tell them it is OK if they do not want to talk or tell their story; be respectful and compassionate

• Meet the family with trust

Helpful phrases you could use in your conversations

Reflecting their concerns and experiences

• “I understand your feelings and lots of people are feeling similarly to you about what’s happened / the situation …”

• “It is very natural to be sad, angry, upset or ….”

• “I hear what you are saying, about having to …”

Explore concerns

Explore what the child or young person is particularly worried about and what their specific concerns are.

• “Tell me a bit about what worries you.”

• “Is there anything else that worries you?”

• “I sense that there is something more on your mind…”

Normalise and name reactions

• “In this situation, how you are feeling and how you want to react is very natural…”

• (to parent) “Many parents would be finding this situation difficult, but you have managed to look after your family so far and are able to ask for help when you need it.”

Explore solutions

• “It can be overwhelming, so maybe we can talk about how to help you manage those difficult feelings.”

• “Maybe we can discuss possible ways around this/solutions…”